Pro Se In a
pro se divorce you represent yourself as your
lawyer in the court of law. Basically you fight
your own divorce case. The term Pro Se means
self-representation
in the court. Pro se divorce is allowed by law in
every state and is often referred to as
"do-it-yourself divorce".
Supporters of
the Pro Se approach often cite these advantages:
With
no lawyer to fight your divorce, you save
money as you incur no lawyer’s fees.
The
time and effort you spend in looking for a
dependable lawyer is saved if you opt for a
pro se divorce.
It
takes lot of time and effort in explaining the
case to the lawyer.
No
one can understand the intricacies of your
case, so you are the best person to put
forward your own defense and allegations.
Unfortunately the number of cases in which Pro Se
may work is limited. Divorce is often an emotional
situation and rarely is there complete agreement
among both parties to the divorce, including
property division, financial support, children and
custody, and asset allocations.
Like all legal actions, the process of going to
court or drafting legal documents acceptable to
the court can challenging. In addition, mistakes
and failures during the process can result in post
judgement complications that may be more costly
and emotionally traumatic than the divorce itself.
Mediation
Mediation,
or
assisted negotiation, is one way for a couple to
settle their dispute. In mediation, the couple
meets with a third party, or mediator, who helps
them discuss the issues and create their own
agreement.
A mediator does not take sides or make a decision
for the parents. Instead, the mediator helps the
parents find their own solution. If the parents
come to an agreement during mediation, the
agreement is written up and filed with the court
-- making it an official court order. If the
parents do not agree, they usually revert to
traditional litigation. Mediation is one form of
ADR (alternative dispute resolution), that is used
in custody disputes.
Advocates of mediation
argue
that when a judge imposes a decision, parents may
be less likely to violate the agreement when the
parents contributed to the agreement.
you
cannot
force the other side to participate.
Alternatively, if one parent refuses to
participate, or if one parent does show up but
takes a completely unreasonable position, hte
process is not likely to succeed. Mediators do not
have the power to compel someone to cooperate, and
they cannot impose a decision. If the mediation
sessions don't result in an agreement, nothing
tangible is accomplished.
Litigation
Litigated
divorce proceedings are those in which both sides
retain attorneys and present their "case" to the
court for resolution.
The advantages of traditional adversarial
litigation are straightforward:
The
attorney is active in each step of the
negotiations, talking with the other attorney
and only conferring with the client as
necessary.
It may be
the only choice left after all else fails.
Decisions
can be appealed.
Clients
may feel that they have “had their day in
court.”
If one or
both parties desires to do so, he or she is
able to extend the conflict.
The disadvantages of traditional
adversarial litigation may,
depending upon your
individual situation, be significant:
The
pre-trial information gathering stage of a
litigated case can be highly inefficient.
Instead of one spouse talking to the other, he
or she calls the attorney, who calls the other
spouse's attorney, who calls his or her
client, and the process is then repeated in
reverse. The procedures for obtaining
documents can get even more elaborate.
Parties
can often feel like they are left on the
sidelines while the lawyers fight it out between
themselves.
Trials
are open to the public, as are all pleadings and
papers filed with the court.
Trials
can take time. If the court has a busy docket,
the case can be broken up and tried in bits and
pieces on different days. Decisions may be
postponed.
Trials
are very costly, financially and emotionally,
especially when children are involved and one
party may attempt them to "take sides"
Trials
lock parties into their positions, believing one
is the victim and the other a villain.It takes a
long time for the family to heal after a trial.
Co-parenting after a trial can be extremely
difficult.
Litigation
is not a process of solving problems; it is a
process of winning arguments.
A
trial frequently results in continuing conflict
even after the divorce is final. Parties then
can find themselves repeatedly back in court to
enforce or modify trial decisions.
Collaborative
Collaborative
family
law is a unique, reasonable approach to handling
a divorce or other family law matter and is
based on three core principles:
a
written pledge not to fight in court and
withdrawal of the hired professionals if
either party ultimately chooses to fight in
court
open
communication between the parties with an
honest and good faith exchange of information,
and
negotiations that lead to a mutually
acceptable settlement, taking into account the
highest priorities of all family members.
When you
engage in the collaborative process, you use
specially trained lawyers as well as mental
health and financial specialists to maximize the
positive outcomes for every member of your
family.
It is a productive process for divorcing couples
and those wanting legal separations, annulments,
pre- or post-nuptial agreements, the dissolution
of non-marital and same-sex relationships, and
for paternity cases. The issues addressed in
collaborative cases are the same ones addressed
in traditional litigation cases: child custody
and placement, property valuation and division,
child support, maintenance (alimony), taxes, and
insurance.
